Tuesday, October 16, 2012

am I growing up?

I  was reading some of my older entries...  WOW. My writing style has changed a lot. I've changed a lot. I think that travelling this much has make grow up, in every sense of the word. I've had good and bad experiences. I've fallen in love. I've ran out of money, several times. I've hitchhiked means of transport some people think it's impossible to do it. I've gone to places where only a few of my countrymen had been before.

But one thing that caught my attention was that when every time I'm home I don't feel good. It's not that I don't like being here, I love it! I get to spend time with my mum which is the main reason  for me to come back, but I think that the circumstances that I'm under every time I'm back are difficult. It's also hard to adapt again. Some people might call it reverse culture shock but for me is just culture shock, in my home country but culture shock still. I might accept the other two terms wikipedia uses.

The country has changed. There were presidential elections last year and I wasn't here. My home town has changed physically and has become (to my perception) more dangerous. 

This time has been harder, it's the first time I'm alone for an extended period of time and I don't have a job to distract me. I looked for one, believe me! So I spent my days alone as my mum has to go to work every day. I went to Antigua a few times but afterwards is me, myself and I again. so I spent practically all day by myself. The first month was really hard. Now, it's still hard but now I'm back in the surface. 

I have to confess that I feel very envious every time I hear someone saying that when they went back home they met with all their friends, they had welcome back parties. I have none of these. Not even my brothers wanted to pick us up when I called them once I entered Guatemala back in July. The only reason one of them picked us up was because we were robbed of everything. But well, what can I do?

After almost three years of being on the road I think I'm finally growing up. I decided to stop travelling, to settle somewhere, to not move from country to country like a maniac. Maybe I want a boring life? But doesn't have to be boring is it? Do you have any suggestions as to where to do this, if so, please tell me because I have no fucking clue!