Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A lot going on lately

As some of may know, I'm about to go back home. It's been a while therefore I have a lot of things going on my head. A lot. 

I don't think I have been this nervous or anxious or stressed before. I had to take care of a lot of shit. I was supposed to fly on the 10th of this month but I had to change the flight. Twice. I was supposed to be in Mexico with someone I love. I told her I would take care of her, specially when she needed me and I my stupid job got in the way. I let her down. I tried my best to be with her in the distance, I swear I tried.

A couple of years ago I made the promise to keep out personal stuff from the blog. I tried but I was going through some rough time at the time. Writing help me vent what I'm feeling at the moment, which is a log. While writing the blog back in 2012 I was listening to Vodka Juniors (some of you might know that it's my favourite band). Now I'm listening to their new triple album.

I still can't believe that I'm going home. I will be able to hug my mum for the first time in three years. I don't know how things are back home. I'm not the kind of person that look at the news online. Although this year I made an exception as I was following the election process and... well, no comments. I didn't vote, I get no opinion.

There is so much stuff I would like to write inside my head that I don't know what else to write. 

At the moment I'm in Granada where is still warm and sunny. I'm going to rainy season in Guatemala. Luckily one month left of that. Most of my friends that used to live here are gone. But I'm staying with one of my best friends and that is nice. This past few weeks I was also lucky to meet new people, the sad part is that I met just before I'm leaving.

I already started the job hunt in Guatemala, Mexico and Panama. 

Holy fuck, I feel the same pressure on my chest I felt exactly three fucking years ago. Breath in. Breath out. Hahahaha. I am actually behaving exactly like I did three years ago. And there were also a few time zones in between. Not hahaha. But is changing. Right fucking now! I'm going out for a walk.

I'm going to see my mum, my brothers, my nieces, my nephews, my family, my friends.  I'm actually already invited to my high school class reunion, a stag party and a bottle of Argentinian wine. Last time I was back I only met a handful of my friends. I hope this will be different. I really hope so.

Sorry that from now there will be no photos. My phone was robbed in Portugal along with my SLR camera and I gave away the small digital. Eventually I will get either a smarthphone o camera although it's not my priority. My priority is to be with that someone I love. Not sorry if this sounds cheesy. But what the hell. It's what I'm feeling, It's what I'm writing. It's like my fingers are possessed. I can't stop writing! Words are coming out quite fast. Unlike in other occasions. I remember that once I wrote one line in two days. I did eventually write something on the third day.

I got to say "see you later" to many of my friends hitchhiking back from Lithuania as I have already set the goal to go back home before the end of the year. I still have a few days left, perhaps I get the chance to say it to a few more. The thing is that summer just finished so people is barely coming back from holidays.

Holidays. Some people have told me that my life is like a big holiday. Maybe it is. On holidays you are always happy. There has been times that I was definitely not.

I watch The Motorcycle Diaries last night. There was a quote from the scene in the mine that caught my attention:

- Buscan trabajo?
- No, no buscamos trabajo.
- Entonces, por qué viajan?
- Viajamos por viajar.
- Benditos sean

It's something like this:
- Are you looking for work?
- No, we are not looking for work.
- Then, why are you traveling?
- We travel just because.
- Bless you.

PS. I am looking for a job.

1 comment:

Luke Ivory said...

I'm moving in the opposite direction of Che Guevara. He gave up travelling Latin America to become a revolutionary socialist. I have given up being an active revolutionary socialist (for now) to travel Latin America.