Tuesday, August 26, 2014

what's next?

Exactly! And I don't know.

I have three weeks left in Spain and I have no idea what to do and where to go. I don't think I have been this confused about this. 

It all started one day when I was having dinner with my friend Julia back in the hostel. A week later I received the news that I had to leave. It felt like the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge... or even worse. Yeah, maybe worse than that.

That was over a month ago. At the moment I felt that the world was crushing me. I didn't want to leave. I almost cried. As much as I love Granada and actually, almost became my new black hole, Estonia is still very deep in my thoughts. I started again with the "when I was Estonia" stories.

Days went by and not only I started to accept the fact that I couldn't stay but I started to embrace the idea that I had to leave. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to leave. Maybe it was a sign from a superior being that I needed to move somewhere. That I needed to pack my stuff. That I needed to get going. That I needed to start using my thumb again because it's getting rusted because of the lack of hitchhiking. But where to, Germany? Poland? Lithuania? Russia? Back to Estonia? Finally leave Europe and go East? Pavel is already in Iran and Matthieu is hitchhiking to India very soon...

Some of my good friends left. I don't know if I'm ever going to see them again. I sure hope so! I still have good friends here but we don't hang out as often as before. There was a very special group of volunteers working at the hostel but they are all gone. Then two more came but they soon will be gone. I, soon, will be gone too. The hostel way of life: people coming in and out of your life. But some, well, they a leave a mark on you. Really looking forward to meet with the little one, the curly hair one, the skinny one and the Swedish looking Aussie guy really soon.

I'm starting to think and to "plan". That is not good. Never works out. I have my life "planned" for the next month. I mean I do like how this plan looks like. No, I love how this plan looks like but what if doesn't work out? You see, I'm thinking too much. I don't like to think this much. I even thought about going back home. Home as in Guatemala. Stop traveling for good. Or go to the forest and live a naked life. The naked part seems interesting but I need internet to keep writing crap, crap like the one you are reading right now.

My room is a mess. I need to clean it up. I'm leaving this flat at the end of this week and I have no idea where I'm going to move in! I will be literally homeless for two weeks. Maybe I could camp in Sacromonte?

Anyways,  I'm back to where I started, asking myself what's next? I guess the answer is that I'll see what happens next...

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