Back home?

I have been back in Guatemala for over two months now. Felt weird at the beginning. Actuall, still feels weird. Haven't seen most of my so call friends. For fuck's sake, haven't even seen the rest of my family!

When I was still in Europe I heard that a friend of mine (we were best friends before I left) was getting married. I was even invited his stag... Last week I saw that he's already married. Good luck with you new life mate, good for you.

It's been over two months and nothings has change since last time. No, wait! I'm not depressed like the times before! I mean, I miss you but now it's different. Now there are different reasons to be not happy. Oh well...

Anyways, I will writing about depressive melancholic shit and something happy. Right the next day after I arrived from Madrid I met Gonzalo. We worked in the same hostel in Tallinn, the he stayed for one night at my mum's.

The following weekend while attending a CSing meeting something very interesting happened:  a girl from Graná showed up (she's Austrian but going to UGR). We immediately hit it off. We began talking about Graná and I told her that I lived there. Long story short, we lived two streets apart and we went very often the my second house! But we never met in Spain, we met in Antigua!!!

This is the second time I work as a bartender and let me tell you that is fun! It's like in the movies: many people come to bartenders to have a chat. Ok, ok, not quite like in the movies, no one has cry over my shoulder but I get to talk a lot.

Like any other hostel I've worked before, I get to know people from all over. Some nice, some...

It's been over two months. I miss Europe and I miss my friends there. I almost don't have friends here anymore. Oh well.

Of all the times I had been back to Guatemala only once it was not depressing. I only stayed for less than three weeks... This time I'm about to break my personal record: three months.

My best friend was here. At the beginning was a bit weird and not nice but at the end I was really happy she got to spend a few weeks with me. Now she's gone.

It's early, I'm awake since about an hour ago. For the past few weeks I haven't been able to get a good night sleep. Last week I was going to bed super early, sometimes even before 21:00!!! But that didn't translate into good sleep, I had not nightmares but really disturbing dreams.

I don't feel like writing anymore. I had all this things inside my head that now I cannot seem to be able type them.

Am I home or will I be going back home...

my mum always told that things happen for a reason

A year ago, I had to go back home to get everything stolen after having hitchhiking a lot. One warm evening in July I lost all my shit. All my material possessions were lost. I'm not the kind of person that is attached to material stuff but it's that I had some nice things given to me by friends, former lovers, family. It was today, a year ago.

One thing that I really didn't get the chance to fully enjoy was my travel hammock. After attempting to sleep in it with the girl I was traveling with after a few times I finally gave up and day dreamt about hanging it in my mum's garage and spend some quality time reading and sleeping. Never going to happen as it was inside my backpack and was lost forever.

My mum had always told me that things happens for a reason. Having all my shit stolen was maybe the beginning of the end. Or more like, halfway through the end. Now that I look back, it was for the better, way fucking better.

I am a magnet for crazy women. I've confirmed that. I was talking to this guy the other da and he told that actually I was very lucky with my previous relationships were with wackos. Why? I asked. Because everyday you have a new girl! This specially happened in South America. 

Maybe all that shit happened because some supernatural power wanted me back in Estonia. And God am I enjoying my time here! I really love this tiny country. Tiny? yup, it's about half the size of Guatemala. I don't what it is about it, maybe it's becoming my happy place? naaahhh... But what if it is? It's scary!

Like my mum told me, things happen for a reason. Things didn't work out last year, I had to come up with all my shit and came back to Europe. Came back to Estonia. At the beginning things weren't all that good so I moved back to Tallinn. Now things here couldn't be better. I'm happy. 

Someone is getting a post card soon because I'm fucking happy!